Bitter Snow
by CianaTheRabbit
Summary: Love was a cycle for Weiss. Meet the boy, fall for him, sleep with him, guilt over him, ditch him, hate him, rinse off all the guilt and anger that's left, and repeat. Yet now, when she's finally let go of her love habits, she finds herself falling in love with her partner. And she's terrified. (M for sexual content. White Rose.)
1. Sleepless

It had taken a good long while for Weiss to figure out her feelings towards her leader. Many sleepless nights, to boot. She would lie awake in bed, silent, just thinking, until her eyes finally shut for the night. Many times, her thoughts would drift off to the begrudging respect she had started out with, a begrudging respect that seemed to crescendo into something else. The more she thought about it, the more she dreaded the inevitable revelation. She would think of the good times, of the arguments (despite how petty they were), and of course, their battles. All of it seemed to spiral down into a single conclusion that left Weiss shaken to her very core with terror: She was in love.

Weiss had always been horrified at the thought of falling in love again, particularly now, when she thought she had finally found a way to escape her old ways. She hadn't wanted to feel this again; it had become synonymous with escapism, with her constant search for a way out of the world that would never find her good enough.

How she abhorred that. For her, the only solution was to stop falling in love. She had hoped that being partnered with Ruby would help with this. She would never fall in love with somebody like that, after all. At least, she thought this was the case. However, it had proven to be quite the opposite, as she found that Ruby was the exact kind of person she ended up falling for, head over heels. She had hoped it would pass quickly, like all her little romantic flings did in the past, minus the awkward, strained relationship afterwards (This was impossible to avoid in the first place, and she was well aware of it).

For Weiss, love was a cycle. It always went the same way: Meet the boy, fall for him, sleep with him, guilt over him, ditch him, hate him, rinse off all the guilt and anger that's left, and repeat. Occasionally it was a girl, but it was usually the dirty, guilty boys who seemed to just be out to ruin girls' lives. The life they just happened to be ruining at the time was Weiss's. This cycle had gone on for a few years now, and Weiss had been trying to quit it ever since she realized she didn't want it. Of course, her love habits, like anything else like it, weren't a thing she could just quit.

That is, until she headed off to Beacon.

Something about it had saved her, in her eyes, from her own habits. Maybe it was just taking a breath of fresh air, maybe it was her having something else to focus on.

She knew, however, that whatever it was, she would be okay. She was free, free from her habits. She had never intended to fall in love again. It would just end in tears on both ends, after all. Not like anybody could fall in love with the snooty rich girl, anyway, since she had just been greeted with anger and annoyance during her first day.

Then the team was formed. She had tried to hate Ruby, she had honestly tried, and in the beginning she had succeeded. Later on, however, things were much different. Maybe it was just the time they spent together, maybe it was something else, but soon the sleepless nights started.

Then the realization.

And now, as she sat in bed late at night, staring up at the ceiling of her dorm room, awake as she always was, the attempts to repress it.

She wouldn't dare wake anybody. Night was her time of silent solitude, a time to reflect on what she had done wrong. She had always been doing wrong, it had just been a part of her nature. Wrong to herself, at least, which had left her both bitter and confused. Bitter from the outcome of her decisions and confused about her own life and the path she wanted to take.

This night, she had made a decision. She decided she was tired of the sleepless nights. Tired of reflecting on her past, even if she couldn't stop. She wanted to focus on the present.

She had decided to heal herself. She had no idea how to do it, but she would.

Or at least, this was her thought for a brief moment. Her mind suddenly began to switch rapidly between_ yes, I can stop this_ and _no, it's impossible to stop this._ It happened so suddenly, her thoughts racing so rapidly. Her heart began to pound, she could literally hear the blood pumping through her veins as her breaths became heavy.

At last, she reached a final thought: _My mind is dying._

A wave of sickness fell over Weiss at this thought. She forced her eyes shut, trying to forget about her feelings towards Ruby.

She knew she was right, after all. Her mind was indeed dying.


	2. Escapist

Weiss hadn't planned on venting her frustration the following night, especially when the urge to do so had come to her at such an unfortunate time. However, she had found herself doing it anyway, trying to, once again, escape her worries through her own pleasures. It always left her smiling so bitterly for herself; she could vent without guilting over anybodys else, and that alone left her guilty once more.

At least she had nobody to worry about when she did it. This was a possible reason as for why it left her at least somewhat positive at the end. Though it also seemed to signal desperation in her eyes, due to how rare it was to see her actually doing it at all. However, she had been frustrated, almost furious with herself, and this seemed like the only way she could escape her problems.

It had once again been a late night for Weiss. Though the rest of her team lay, sleeping almost silently, she sat awake, the same thoughts from the night prior repeating in her mind. Once again, she seemed to feel sick over them. The yes and no repeating, her head a broken record. Screams began forming in her head as she desperately tried to force the thoughts away to no avail. Nothing would stop them.

Finally, she thought back to her old ways again. She had to do something, anything to get her mind off things. She slowly lifted the sheets that covered her legs, as if trying to stall. _No,_ she thought, _If you're going through with this, get it over with quickly, before anybody notices._

She lifted her nightgown, uncovering her thighs, then slipped her hand between her legs, sliding her fingers delicately into her panties. She couldn't deny it anymore, there was definitely a lot she had to get out at this moment, most of which she hoped she would get out through this.

She took a few deep breaths, relaxing herself. The entirety of her team was here, after all, and though she'd never woken any of them up in the past, she still worried that she would. _Rrgh...Dammit, stop stalling, Weiss! Just get it over with,_ she thought, _The sooner you do this, the sooner you can forget…_

She glanced around the room nervously, then began stroking herself gently between her legs. Her thumb moved at a steady tempo, sending shudders through her body as it did. Every worry she had seemed to melt away with each shudder, each tiny, quiet breath. She could feel herself becoming increasingly moist, which prompted her to slide her thumb inside herself. She let out a small gasp as she did this, though she didn't stop stroking, for fear of losing her own momentum. Soon, she moved in a little, stroking more aggressively, focusing all her pent-up frustration into a single thumb.

In Weiss's eyes, she was the only one on the room anymore. Pleasure shot through her body with each sensual move she made.

She didn't worry anymore about waking her teammates. Weiss was a gem in bed to many: Somewhat small, extremely submissive, and quiet. The most noise she had ever made was a small and drawn-out moan, though she usually would let out whimpers and squeaks as opposed to anything else. This by no means meant she didn't enjoy it; it was quite the opposite, in fact. She only ever bothered to let out any sound when a session was going well. If Weiss made a sound, her partner knew they had been good to her.

She didn't hear herself until it was too late to go back. She had been letting out small squeaks as she pleasured herself that night, prompting a certain pair of golden eyes to show themselves at the worst possible time. They hadn't focused on her, nor had they noticed until the very end. However, they would make the night the most awkward one yet.

She felt a quiet moan escape her lips as she climaxed, then found herself gasping for breath. Damn, that had felt good. When she had collected herself, she let out a yawn. It had been a while since she actually felt tired during these sort of nights.

Just as she had collected herself, just as she had found herself wanting to head back to sleep, she heard somebody shift to look over at her. Suddenly, she found herself panicking. She knew exactly who it was, and she should have expected this. Faunus ears were sensitive, after all, though she had never thought they'd be this sensitive.

Blake had noticed her. A vivid blush crossed Weiss's face.

"I didn't think you'd be that bold, you know," Blake whispered, "Please, don't ever do that again."

"Sh...Shut up…" was Weiss's only reply. She proceeded to lie down, closing her eyes.

"We can sort this out in the morning. Or better yet, never mention it again," Weiss mumbled as she felt herself drifting off. Blake had replied to this, but her reply had gone unnoticed.

After all, despite the awkwardness of it all, this was the best Weiss had felt in a long time.


	3. Experiment

"So, uh, Weiss...You needed to talk with me? Alone?"

It was time for the (potentially) awkward planning to begin. Phase one of Weiss's little scheme: Take her out. She had been thinking this over at night, and she had decided to explore a little, despite her own fears. It wasn't intended to be anything more than an experiment, an attempt to see if Ruby would act on her advances. She didn't expect it to spiral out of control at all, especially given who she was dealing with.

They both sat on the side of Ruby's bed, just staring forward, not giving even a glance to the other.

"Yes, I did. I was just wondering," Weiss said, taking a deep breath, trying not to sound awkward or 'off' in any way, "I think it'd be a good idea for us to spend a little time together. Just us."

Ruby turned towards Weiss, giving her a slightly confused look.

"Wait, did you just say that? You've always been so against-"

"I know I have! But I'm caving in, okay?"

Whoops. Her facade was beginning to fade. She had to collect herself before Ruby suspected a thing. Otherwise, her whole experiment would be ruined. That was the worst-case scenario, after all. Weiss was overcome with fears of Ruby rejecting her, of her affections not being reciprocated. Thankfully, she snapped back to the conversation once Ruby spoke up again.

"Well, you know how I am about this! Got any ideas, then?"

That had been a close call there.

"Well...Just a night out on the town? We don't even have to do much, you know. I just think we need to get out together."

Ruby shifted her position slightly.

"Yeah. I like that idea," she said, "So, next chance we get, then?"

"Yes."

Weiss received one of the most genuine smiles she had ever seen from Ruby at that moment. She couldn't help but smile back. God, Ruby's smile was so infectious, so captivating. Weiss couldn't seem to get enough of it, it pulled her in like a siren's song.

A feeling of warmth began to course through her body. For the second time in her life, love didn't seem so bad.

_He had faded into her mind as a silhouette. His face, his name, everything except his performance. Yet the memory of the entire relationship, at least emotionally, had been ingrained in the mind of Weiss Schnee. It was a memory she hated looking back on, but couldn't stop looking back at. It was a mirror, one that always reflected the worst of her life and her ways._

_First came the initial high. The love, the head-over-heels love. Waves of attraction surging through her at the first sight of a boy, consuming her very being and setting her chest ablaze. Her heart would pound each time he reached her sight, until finally she'd just tell him the words: "I love you."_

_She had rehearsed them so many times before in her own head. Getting the words out was a mindless task now, one she performed with such grace and poise that it no longer seemed so mindless._

_Second came the hope. The happiness, the lies that the world seemed to feed her. She thought the relationship would be eternal, that she had finally found an escape from high standards, from the condescending glares of the very ones who were supposed to love her._

_Then the highest point. The worst decision she had ever made._

_She could remember the exact thing she had said._

_"Nobody will know."_

_And then, she finally found herself lying with another for the first time._

_She was twelve years old._

_Reminiscing on this had made Weiss realize just how much she had been destroying herself all this time. And yet, something in the back of her head screamed at her._

_Ruby came to mind._

_The thought began to claw at her. She could ignore it no longer._

_Her relationship with Ruby would be different. She would find a way, somehow, to make it work unlike anything else before._

**Author's note: I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I promise, next one will be longer!**


End file.
